Alan Heeks

The Little Book of Hygge

 Creative Ageing  Comments Off on The Little Book of Hygge
Nov 202020
 

Cosy friendship in all its forms: including tea, cake, candles!

Many surveys show the Danes to be the happiest people in Europe and the world, and the quality of hygge seems to be one reason. Hygge, pronounced hoo-guh, is hard to define or translate: friendly cosiness is the closest I’ve found.

The ritual of hygge

This charming little book, a bestseller in the UK and elsewhere, is written by Meik Wiking, who works for the Happiness Research Institute in Copenhagen. Hygge matters most on long dark winter nights, and you’d feel it through candles, snuggly blankets, comfort food, board games, and relaxing with a few friends.

Meik quotes a survey among Danes, showing that the three things they associate most with hygge are hot drinks, candles, and fireplaces. So the English love a cup of tea, by a cosy fire, with a cake and biscuit, is pure hygge!

A quality that’s undervalued these days is ritual. I regard having tea with friends or family as a simple ritual, meaning that it’s a way to make the occasion more special, even meaningful. Notice how people get more relaxed and reflective if they’re sharing a cuppa!

How to bring hygge into your life

Making your life more hyggelig should help you to nourish and enjoy friendships even more. Savouring each good experience, and feeling gratitude for it, are also ways to cultivate hygge.

You can make your home cosier by using more wood for floors, walls, furniture, and bringing nature indoors – flowers, twigs, pine cones, fur rugs. And in summer, you can find hygge with bonfires and barbeques out of doors.

It may be useful to explore hygge when you’re on your own, and see how you can befriend yourself more fully. But research shows that the optimum number of people for a hyggelig experience is 3-4.

Afternoon Delights – daily comforts

My new book on creative ageing, Not Fade Away, has a chapter entitles Afternoon Delights: daily comforts. This explores ways to make everyday life more nourishing for us, such as a pause for tea, and making your home more hygge. People often like their habits, so it’s good to make a habit of looking after yourself and your home.

If you find it hard to relax and make time to look after yourself, a useful habit is to give yourself a time budget: make sure at least one hour a day you do things you love. This may be simple things like a walk in Nature, a chat with a friend, or curling up with a book.

Wiking sensibly acknowledges that Danes’ happiness comes from other factors too. The welfare state is still thriving in Denmark, so there’s a sense of collective security which has worn thin in Britain. Danes also have a good work-life balance, with high levels of free time.

Have a hyggelig 2018!

Dating Tips for Senior Singles

 Creative Ageing  Comments Off on Dating Tips for Senior Singles
Nov 202020
 

Learn new skills, have adventures…find true love!

Picture the scene: I am a newly mature single sitting alone at a table for two, wearing smart casual gear which I hope looks suitable, I am waiting for my blind date, Jackie, to appear. To look my best, I am not wearing my glasses, which means that people entering the room are blurs to me. She looked good in the picture she sent me, but how long ago was that? A rather bulky female blur comes in, and I half rise, then sit back in relief. Now a slim and rather sexy female blur glides in, and I stand up. I’ve got it right – it is Jackie. As she gets closer, I realise she looks pretty and empathic – what a relief!

The new world of mature singles dating

Some years before this scene, I recall one of the single guys in my men’s group telling me how he’d met this woman through a soulmates ad, and had a blind date with her. It seemed scary and artificial to me, and I declared I’d never do it. In fact after my long first marriage ended, I had numerous blind dates through soulmates ads, and found two good relationships through them.

If you’ve been many years in one relationship, it’s a strange new world to meet as a senior single.  This is one of the biggest re-inventions you may need to take on.  Ideally, before you plunge into dating, you need to sort yourself out more basically.  This means clearing self-destructive habits like depression, anger, addiction, and learning better communication skills.

Communication skills may sound a long way from romance and dating, but it’s not. As mature singles, we can’t expect sexual chemistry to blow us away and weld us together. Empathy is what you need now! This requires skills in truly listening to your date, maybe reflecting back what you’ve heard, also voicing your own feelings appropriately, and finding the common ground. You’ve probably both been hurt before, so feeling safe, heard, respected matter a lot.

Dating advice to get you started

  • Make the best of yourself

If you’ve been living alone as a senior single, or in a long-term relationship, you may be used to scruffiness.  If you’re dating, you will need smart, freshly washed clothes, a good haircut, and fresh breath: this assumes you want to succeed, and are not hooked on being rejected. If you want to hear more advice, my latest book, Not Fade Away, explores positive ways to face ageing and the dating scene from my own personal experience.

  • Don’t let your Story take over

Most of us have a Story, dating from childhood, which sets a pattern for our relationships as adults. If you felt abandoned or rejected, idolised or isolated, guess what might come up on a blind date? My book shows you how to understand your Story, and replace it with a positive one.

  • Find your own way

Blind dates and soulmates ads can be stressful, and they don’t suit everyone. Maybe you already know someone you could explore connection with? Or think about places to meet people: I know men who’ve joined yoga classes and women who’ve signed up for car maintenance, with a double agenda!

  • Screen before you date

Every blind date is a big emotional and time investment.  Do as much screening as you can before meeting up, to improve your chances of success.  Know the kind of partner you are looking for, and check things out by phone or email.  Understand what the other person wants, and if you’re likely to suit each other.  Ask for a picture, and send yours.  Learn what matters most to you, and the questions that can explore this.

  • Enjoy the journey, not the outcome

Blind dates are nerve-wracking: you are both accepting or rejecting each other, and it probably happens within the first minute.  I can recall a couple of blind dates with truly gorgeous women, who ticked all my boxes, but were clearly not interested.  There is a gift in all this, learning to value yourself even when she turns you down.  I tried to enjoy the conversations, even when they were going nowhere.

  • Blind dates are not therapy sessions

If you’re still hurting from a major breakup, this nice person across the table may seem ideal to pour out your troubles to.  Don’t!  Start with easy topics, go gradually deeper if it suits both of you.  Keep it a dialogue: ask plenty of questions, talk about yourself, but not for too long.  Talk about positives: what you enjoy, what you are looking for and offer in a mature relationship.

  • Happiness is wanting what you get

You may be yearning for another settled, long-term relationship, or desperate to avoid commitment. Part of being a senior single is staying open to what’s possible, here and now, learning to embrace surprises and be gracefully flexible.

  • Value what you offer

You may worry about your looks, but don’t be hard on yourself.  You are not in your twenties, that’s just a fact.  Fortunately, most mature people value other qualities more than looks.  If you offer emotional competence, empathy and dependability, you are a good prospect!

For senior singles, dating is a good test of your general attitude to life. Try to treat dating as an adventure, a chance to learn about yourself and human nature. Even the rejections are a chance to grow. And remember, many people do find enjoyable flings or lasting love in their golden years.

For further reading on creative ageing check out Alan’s two books:

Pilgrim without map or boots

 Inspirations  Comments Off on Pilgrim without map or boots
Nov 202020
 

Fresh adventures in later years

As we get older, we need fresh adventures to keep us growing. Two new experiences I’ve been enjoying are short pilgrimages and retreats. The difference between a pilgrimage and a walk is subtle: I’d say a pilgrim is walking with a deliberate intent, such as meditation or healing, and often with a special destination, maybe a sacred site like Lindisfarne.

The difference between a retreat and just staying somewhere is subtle, and also about intent. I now try to have a few days away on my own twice a year when I can reflect, take stock, and set out some future intentions. Recently I did a self-guided retreat at the Northumbria Community, a centre in rural mid-Northumberland, inspired by the Celtic Christian monasteries which once flourished in this area.

One of the spiritual practices they encourage here is pilgrimage: the journey itself is a chance for prayer and contemplation, as well as the place you travel to.  So I decide to do a day-long pilgrimage to the coast, a few miles away.  Glancing at a map, I can see there’s no simple route, but there’s an interesting, tangled network of lanes and footpaths.

I’m just fifteen minutes into my hike when I need to check my route, and find I’ve left the map behind.  I find this hilarious, a good cosmic joke.  My book for Men Beyond 50 is eloquent about the way men love maps and knowing where their route options lie.  I conclude I am meant to be a pilgrim without a map for the day, so I press on.

Lacking a map forces me to use other methods: observation, intuition, and asking strangers.  All of these help, and at length I reach the goal I was aiming for, the delightful, small seaside town of Amble.  When I get back later and review the map, I can see that my route was more long and wiggly than it could have been, but it was my own original creation, and I’m proud of it.

Well before I reach the coast, I am suffering from my other oversight: footwear.  Travelling light on a 2-week tour of the North, I don’t have room for walking boots.  So I have borrowed a pair of over-sized, thin-soled wellies.  Their effect on my soles is like those meat tenderisers.  And I still have to walk back!  Is there a lesson in my suffering?  I haven’t found it yet.

Lindisfarne Castle, Northumberland

Spiritual communities are so varied, and this is an interesting new one for my collection.  It’s diverse in age, gender and nationality, but aims for a monastic quality.  You can see this in the simplicity of the lifestyle, and the rhythm of four services which guide you through the day. It’s a Christian community, but very welcoming to all. Services are led by different members of the community, and much of it is participatory.  At Compline, the 9.30pm service for the end of the day, there is a prayer which everyone says in turn: My dear ones, O God, bless Thou and Keep, in every place where they are.  Everyone is asked to sit in silent meditation for a few minutes before and after the services, and I felt this deepened them.

You may wonder, what did I get from my four days on retreat. Firstly, a sense of catching up with myself, and integrating a hectic and exciting period since New Year.  Secondly, a sense of relaxing and expanding which I always find in the wise, empty, beautiful landscapes of Northumbria. Thirdly, deep gratitude for the resources, health and freedom to be here. And lastly, a sense of being nurtured by life, by Nature, by those close to me, and a calling to give out love and nurturance to everyone around me.

Days later, my feet are still sore, but that’s a useful reminder: you don’t have to be dependent on maps and boots, you can get by without them – but life’s easier with them!

Many aspects of this episode offer insights about creative ageing: finding new skills when we seem unprepared for the situation; handling stress with humour and inventiveness; taking time out; and letting the rhythms of community nourish us, in some form or other. All useful tips for the fresh adventures of life!

For further reading on creative ageing check out Alan’s two books: Not Fade Away – Staying happy when you’re over 64! Out of The Woods: A Guide to Life for Men Beyond 50

Mysteries of elderhood: effects of ageing

 Creative Ageing  Comments Off on Mysteries of elderhood: effects of ageing
Nov 202020
 

Alan Heeks shares his development through the life stages

When I turned sixty in 2008, I set a clear intent of moving into elderhood, growing beyond my prevailing warrior-hero approach to life. Ten years on, I can report good progress on my development through the life stages, but as well as further mysteries.

Elderhood and the effects of ageing

For most of my adult life, I have been a happy workaholic: drawn to situations where I had lots of challenge and responsibility, working in a state of high adrenalin which gave purpose and structure to my life, and paved over the murky depths beneath. All this has been dissolving and under scrutiny since I turned 50. I have made numerous descents into the murky depths, sometimes just falling in, sometimes an orderly visit properly equipped with a therapist. I aim to be friends with the early wounds and neurotic habits which still thrash around in those depths: I don’t believe they ever disappear, but an elder has their measure…

A major effect of ageing and elderhood for me is at work: instead of being a manic prime mover, I am really trying to change my habits, working collaboratively, enabling others, offering a wise presence and holding the space, instead of rushing in. I’m achieving this quite a lot of the time, but… it’s not very exciting.

Other changes that may come with ageing

I recently found an excellent medical herbalist, Nick Hudis, who specialises in the health issues of older men. In a recent consultation, I described changes that may come with ageing, such as having low energy, morale and libido. Nick gently observed, “Sounds like low testosterone: nothing’s exciting any more?” before women reading this loose interest, I’d like to point out that, while the physiology may be different, I think many of the issues around elderhood are the same. So hang on in with the journey!

Nick went on to say “This is why it’s so important for older men to have a sense of purpose. Otherwise they become couch potatoes.” Absolutely, and plumbing the murky depths, and other great stuff eloquently laid out in my book, Out of the Woods: A Guide to Life for Men Beyond 50. What my book covers less well is this issue about the lack of excitement. Part of this is biological fact: men’s testosterone levels do decline with age. But the chat with Nick got me thinking positively about better ways to handle all this.

Whilst women at this life stage might use different language, there are shared issues for both genders about loosing one’s sense of significance and purpose: people don’t pay you so much attention. You have to find your sense of direction and significance for yourself.

Helpful activities of daily living

So here are some of my helpful tips and activities of daily living as I explore happy elderhood:

  • Reconnect with purpose often: if you don’t feel a sense of purpose, seek it or ask to be shown it. Bathe in you sense of purpose often: enjoy it, value it. For each of us to believe that our purpose and presence makes a difference is crucial in these times.
  • Feel generous and abundant: if you can feel this, it can help you to make approaches, and share your talents and insights with other people – even if they are not seeking you out. You have a lot to give, but it’s you who has to believe this the most.
  • Be tremendously present: whether you’re making love or making sandwiches, this helps. Imagine this is your first moment in life, in a body: every moment is potentially exciting.
  • Find the fellowship of other elders: this may not be easy! Your contemporaries may be floundering more than you are, and in deep denial about getting old at all. Try cautiously nudging your acquaintances and friends towards a more meaningful discussion.
  • Mindfulness: focus on the breath and sensations of the body, to reduce the power of negative thoughts and feelings.
  • Ration your media: limit your intake of mainstream news and ads to what you can happily cope with. Too much of this can shred your attention span, raise your craving for distractions, and sap your ability to be present.

I feel very blessed with worthwhile work projects, a superb marriage and family: enjoying all this as an elder may have less adrenalin, but it has huge potential richness.

For further reading on creative ageing check out Alan’s two books:

Born to be wild: fresh adventures

 Creative Ageing  Comments Off on Born to be wild: fresh adventures
Nov 202020
 

Everyday life these days can be uncertain and unsettling for anyone, and getting older may just seem to make that worse. It may feel tempting to settle into your rut, retreat into safety. In fact, you’re likely to be more happy and resilient if you open up to fresh adventures.

I don’t mean the kind of teenage lads’ adventure where you nearly kill yourself. This is about trying something fresh, being someone new, having the courage to explore the unknown, both in yourself and around you. It’s by surprising yourself and exploring the new, even if it feels a bit risky, that you’ll find fresh talents in yourself, make new friends, discover more insights.

There are three types of adventure you might like to explore: inner, outer, and social. How can you tell what kind of adventures suit you: here are a couple of ways you can check them:

·         Do you have a sense of who you’d like to become, how you’d like to develop in the next few years?

·         Is there a long-standing hope or dream from your youth that you might fulfil now?

·         Do you have an interest or talent that you’ve never used, which you might develop at last?

·         What might you do that would surprise you…?

Inner Adventures

I’m using this term to mean ways you can explore new aspects of yourself, and discover new strengths. These kind of adventures won’t cost money, and you can do them almost anywhere. Here are a few examples to show you what an inner adventure might look like:

  • Try some music, books, or a movie, that’s unlike any you’ve tried before. Maybe pick a category at random, like steampunk…
  • If you don’t do meditation, try it – mindfulness and some other methods are designed for first-timers.
  • Experiment with slowing right down, and observing: watch the wind in the trees, or your own breath coming and going. See how much you can notice.
  •  Try observing yourself, kindly: try a benign running commentary, highlighting the good things you’re doing.
  • If any difficult feelings come up for you regularly, try befriending them, chatting with them: ask what you can do to stop them troubling you.
  • Consider keeping a journal, as a new way of understanding yourself. The book The Artist’s Way has a good method for this.

Remember that the nature of true adventures is that you can’t control them, they’ll take you somewhere different, you can’t be sure of the outcomes. So let go of any expectations about where you get to with all of this!

Outer adventures

These can include physical activities from the gentlest, like water colours or origami, to the most strenuous. Try to be clear why you’re choosing something: be wary if it’s just about impressing people, copying others, ticking a box.

The most satisfying outer adventures are probably those which stretch you gently, and in several ways: not just physical fitness, but also emotional resilience, mental skills and awareness. For many of us, learning to relax and have fun can be a stretch! Getting out in Nature can offer all this, and is a classic way to get new insights and direction when you need them.

Social adventures

As we get older, there’s a risk that we have fewer friends and personal connections. This may be because people fall out with each other, move away, or just simply through retirement. The skills of making and mending friendships become very important in later life, and that’s partly what social adventures are about. If you’re shy and quiet, you need such adventures even more. Here are some ideas for social adventures:

  • Try joining one or two new groups. Pick ones where their focus interests you, but deliberately stretch yourself, see if you can make some new contacts, even if it all feels stressful. 
  • Experiment with turning an acquaintance into a friendship. For example, invite someone you know a bit to join you for a walk or some other outing. Remember, it’s an adventure: don’t reproach yourself if they turn down the invitation, or your outing feels a bit flat.
  • Do you have any unresolved conflicts in your life? Maybe someone you fell out with years ago, or a person you see currently, who you don’t get on with? A brave adventure would be to seek them out, and try to clear the air. Having a third party friend to support you both can be very helpful, and make things safer for both of you.

This is an adapted excerpt from Alan Heeks’ new book, Not Fade Away – Staying Happy When You’re Over 64, available from Amazon and other online channels.

Even the old are prejudiced about ageing!

 Creative Ageing  Comments Off on Even the old are prejudiced about ageing!
Nov 202020
 

Alan with a group at Hazel Hill Wood

Alan with a group at Hazel Hill Wood

How to grow through the fear and bias

Most of us have prejudices, and most of us have them around old age, whatever age we are!  It’s been shocking for me, as an expert on creative ageing, to admit this is true of me.

I realise that one simplistic way that I categorize people I meet is ‘old’ or ‘regular’.  ‘Old’ people have white hair and wrinkles, they move slowly and not in straight lines. You have to slow down and concentrate to communicate with them.  This summer, as I approached seventy, I still felt depressed at the prospect, despite working hard at being positive.  I’ve realised that the heart of my depression is joining a category about which I still have prejudice: old people.

At least I can see the opportunity here, to find ways to unpack my hangups and clear them will help my own ageing process, and hopefully others.  This is part of a wider change in our outlook on life, which is vital as we get older: choosing our own beliefs and values, and not being manipulated and prejudiced by the media.

Claiming your freedom

Recently I spoke to a friend who turned seventy some months ago, and asked her how she felt.  “It’s liberating”, she said. “No one has expectations of me, I’m free to be myself”. For those of you reading this who are somewhere North of fifty, the gift I want to offer you is this: you’re free, but you have to claim your freedom.

Claiming your freedom means noticing where your attitude to yourself, and your approach to life, are being limited by negative beliefs that you still carry about ‘being old’.  It’s high time you lightened up, and shed your excess baggage!

Groups can help this process.  I don’t mean a bunch of people in a pub, or probably not.  Gatherings like men’s or women’s groups, or creative ageing workshops, have helped me to feel that I’m accepted and appreciated as I am.  Groups can support us in feeling that the beliefs we’re choosing are sane and healthy, even if they differ from society’s norms.

As I write this, it’s a month since my seventieth birthday: so far, my seventies feel a bit of a laugh.  I do have a sense of freedom and lightness, as if it doesn’t quite matter who I am anymore. Or as if I’ve slipped through a hole in the fabric of space-time, and I can choose who I am, all over again.

The process I’ve described above, of dropping prejudices and choosing positive beliefs, has worked for me, and I hope it helps you.  You’ll find it explored more fully in Chapter X of my new book: the chapter is called Change the Story!

Alan’s new book is Not Fade Away: Staying Happy when you’re over 64.  For more details click here.

Enjoying your elderhood

 Creative Ageing  Comments Off on Enjoying your elderhood
Nov 202020
 

The term elder is used with various meanings: I’m using it to invite you to connect with the mature wisdom in yourself, and in our ancestors. Traditional tribal cultures, such as the Native Americans, Celts, and Bedouin, had great wisdom, including the role of the elders.

We commonly think of tribes as led by one chief, but often the elders as a group had a powerful role. It was their role to guide the tribe in a crisis, to dream dreams, uphold values, and mentor the young. Clearly we live in a different kind of society to this, but the role of the elders is something we can learn from and update.

I’ve concluded that each of us has to figure out our own form of elderhood, and what being an elder means for us. This is different from the traditions of initiating adolescents into adulthood, where they are typically trained in their duties, roles and values. Initiation into elderhood is a more organic, gradual, self-guided process. You may learn from other elders as role models, they may give support, but the vision comes from you, and any guiding spirits or divinity you work with. Here are some of the best ways to explore what elderhood means for you, and to move into it.

  • Alone and in nature.
  • Sharing your exploration with other elders, in a regular group or one-off events.
  • Using dreams, meditation and other practices which help you open to the spiritual and the unconscious aspect of yourself.

When does elderhood begin, and finish? Everyone’s journey is unique. The age 50 is often a turning point. However, I’ve seen people with the wisdom of elderhood in their late 20s, and others in their 70s who’ve not yet reached it. I believe that elderhood is a stage we find for ourselves, hopefully in our 50s or 60s, and this stage of elderhood lasts until we die. There are others who see elderhood as followed by seniority, a stage of passing out of life and into death and whatever lies beyond.

To help your exploration, here are some brief pointers to aspects of elderhood.

  • Simple presence: If you’re at ease with yourself, calm amid setbacks, focussed on the positive, your presence alone will be a teaching and a role model for those around you, of all ages.
  • Embodying and upholding values: This is a major role of tribal elders, and much needed in our society. This means living the principles you believe in, such as honesty, integrity, forgiveness, and speaking out for these values when you see them ignored.
  • Elders as a group: In these later years, the balance between individual and collective life swings more towards the group: this means shared wisdom, mutual support, and perhaps shared action too.
  • Friendship: Slowing down should be a goal and a benefit of elderhood. This creates time for you to be a friend: to other elders, to your children and grandchildren, and wherever it’s needed. Sharing your love, your wisdom, your values with others through friendship is part of your legacy.
  • Giving back, serving the greater good: a classic elders role.
  • Facing ageing and death: I was closest to my father, and learned most from him, in his last years and his death: I know many others who have found the same. If you can find happiness even in your decline, and face death positively, you create a blessing for yourself and younger generations.
  • Surrendering to the unconscious: If you have stayed aware, you probably feel by now that the complexity inside and around you is so huge that you can’t think your way to understanding. Surrendering to the unconscious is not giving up, it’s opening to receive the wisdom within us and around us, which can’t all be channelled through the rational mind.
  • Opening to the beyond: the years of elderhood are a chance to open to the world of spirit, to whatever lies beyond death. This is a fitting part of our later life, and probably serves the tribe as well.

There are so many pressures pulling people and governments around the world, towards the immediate, visible problems, which are often social and economic. Raising attention, speaking out, walking the talk, calling for action, on the huge but less immediate crises of environmental and human sustainability, is a role that the elders need to take up. The elders are a big voice, a power for change, and without us stepping in, we’re all on the road to chaos.

Creation Spirituality: what, why, how?

 Creative Ageing  Comments Off on Creation Spirituality: what, why, how?
Nov 202020
 

Align your own creative power within the divine

The essence of creation spirituality is this idea: that the creation of our world was not a one-off event billions of years ago: it is a process continuing in every moment, and each of us can contribute.  As Neil Douglas-Klotz puts it: our job description as humans is to figure out the unique role we can play in creation, here and now, and fulfil it.  

Implicit in this approach is the belief in a benign divinity (which could be called Sacred Unity, God, Allah, or many other names), who initiated the process of creation, who is still present in it, and who we can connect with to guide our own creative power.  

The term creation spirituality originates with an American teacher, Matthew Fox, in the 1960s: he uses the term to differentiate from redemption theology, which believes in original sin and sees this world as a vale of suffering which we have to escape from. The key ideas in creation spirituality can be found in Christian mystics and others from centuries ago.  Here are some examples:

“I have often said that God is creating the entire universe in this present now.” (Meister Eckhart).

“The Word is living, being, spirit, all verdant greening, all creativity.  This Word manifests itself in every creature.” (Hildegard of Bingen). 

“I was a hidden treasure and wanted to be known.  Hence, I created the world so I would be known.” (Islamic Hadith). 

“Stop acting so small.  You are the universe in ecstatic motion.”  (Rumi). 

Another teacher I admire whose work relates to creation spirituality is Thomas Berry.  In books like The Dream of the Earth he evokes Mother Earth as a wise, creative power, an expression of the divine, and highlights how our human dreams, myths and visions can help to recover a fruitful relationship with her. See more in my blog. 

ature's healing power

As you can see, an intrinsic part of this approach is seeing all of Nature as an ongoing process of divine creation, and humankind as part of Nature.  Fully experiencing the creative power, beauty and abundance of Nature is a great way to unlock these qualities in yourself.  

Two key Sufi beliefs are seeing divinity in all life, and regarding Nature as a mirror and teacher.  Sufi poets like Rumi, Hafiz and Shabistari offer wonderful doorways into creation spirituality.  So do wazifas, which are Arabic sound mantras.  The Sufi Book of Life by Neil Douglas-Klotz is a good way to explore and use them: several embody aspects of creativity.  You could also dive into the poems and songs of Christian mystics like Hildegard of Bingen.

If you want to explore creation spirituality further, my advice is to find ways to experience it, for example through song, poetry, devotional movement.  I have led various groups doing this, some

Hyper-scenic delights in the Massif Central

 Train Lovers  Comments Off on Hyper-scenic delights in the Massif Central
Sep 222019
 

There’s a subtle buzz when a train sets off on what I’d call a hyper-scenic route. It may well be a mere two-coach diesel, from a mundane city like Leeds or Clermont-Ferrand. But some of the passengers are different. They’ve got cameras, journals, route maps. Some are outdoors types with hiking gear or touring bikes. They’re alert and they’re in the know: it’s a secret society of rail connoisseurs.

My favorite, archetypal hyper-scenic route for many years has been the Settle and Carlisle. I’ve done it so many times that it’s like hearing a favourite symphony: you know when a great bit is coming up, and it’s always wonderful. However, this blog is about two hyper-scenic routes in France which I’ve just travelled for the first time.

There’s a lot to like about French railways, plus a few things that are downright annoying. First off to like, there’s the fact that France is abundant in spectacular landscapes of many kinds. Second, the French with their taste for quirky innovation put railways through lots of them. And third, many of these lines are still running. I think helped by generous public subsidies, perhaps some French influence with the EU…

And French railways still have industrial sidings in use, with small privately-owned shunting engines, and intriguing obscure branch lines and spurs that curve off out of sight. One big downside of SNCF is their appalling online info and booking system, which always tries to force you onto TGV’s, and makes it hard to plan or book a trip on the side lines. I’ve booked my own rail trips to Marrakech and California, but for France I gave up and booked via a specialist agent: Ffestiniog Travel, who did a fine job.

It’s also sad that SNCF are hostile to steam. The Railway Touring Company, who run chartered steam trains all over the world, gave up on France many years ago. There are quite a few heritage steam lines in France, but many are just a couple of tank engines on a few miles of track. But they have a wonderful offer on some lines: check out Velorail.

It’s all about a viaduct

Why am I on this Friday tour of France by rail? To see the Garabit Viaduct. Even among railway cognoscenti, the Garabit is not widely known: I was chuffed to find that my steam travel pal Nick, who knows more about heritage railway carriages than I’d ever want to, had never heard of it. And those who’ve visited are an even more exclusive minority – because it’s really hard to do.

The Garabit is on an obscure line which wiggles down from Clermont-Ferrand, near the middle of France, to the Mediterranean coast at Béziers. There’s only one train each day each way! And I’d been warned that you don’t even see the viaduct when you go over on a train, because it’s dead straight. Ironically, one of the best views is from the rest area on the nearby A75 motorway, which crosses the better-known Millau viaduct some miles south of here. At least it works in reverse – you get a great view of the Millau viaduct from the train!

At first I thought, I’ll have to hire a car to see a railway viaduct, but I got a better idea when I invested in a detailed local guidebook (Guide Routard for the Auvergne, in French). My brainwave was to stay for two nights at the picturesque old town of Saint Flour, and then rent a bicycle to get to Garabit, 13km to the south. This trip has taken a lot of planning!

By now, you may validly be wondering, what makes the Garabit Viaduct such a cult item? It was a pioneer in the era of metal viaducts, which enabled far greater heights and spans than brick or stone. And this one is a thing of beauty, designed by Gustave Eiffel. Although he’s best known for that tower, he was an inspired bridge engineer. The Garabit has a main span of 541 feet, and a height of 407 feet – dizzying when you’re that far up. Definitely worth the trip!


The Ligne des Causses

This is the name of the line from Clermont to Béziers, which is 387km long, about half the length of France: the Garabit Viaduct is its landmark feature. It is like a longer version of the Settle & Carlisle: both are built through incredibly rugged terrain, and neither serves any sizeable towns. They’re heroic gestures, motivated by some long-forgotten goal of railway strategy, and surviving against economic odds.

The one train per day is a poignant decrepit, two-coach unit, covered in graffiti, and it takes six and a half hours. The scenery and engineering are so good that at times I felt stuffed as you might at an exuberant banquet. The line winds through many gorges, with rapid alternation of tunnels and viaducts, large and small.

Some rocky hills above us have ancient castles or fortified villages on top. At one point, we cross a high pass: there’s a perfect medieval chateau, complete with round turrets and conical roofs, and a buzzard gliding between us. Even the station names are tremendously evocative, and should be spoken slowly and savoured: Saint-Georges-de-Luzençon, Banassac la Canourgue, Ceilhes Roqueredonde, Sévérac-le-Château, Tournemire Roquefort.


At times there are huge vistas of great rolling hills, wide valleys and forests. And very subtly, the terrain and the buildings are changing, until I feel we’re in a landscape by Cézanne. The houses have Roman clay roof tiles and pale painted walls, there are swathes of vineyards, and the Mediterranean is close by.

The S&C is nourished by a benign alliance between Network Rail, volunteers, and intelligent local authorities. The tourism benefits are understood and cultivated. Some of the stations, like Settle and Appleby, have been superbly restored, others are rented as holiday cottages. Volunteers even provide a trolley service of refreshments and guidebooks on the trains. Absolutely none of that applies on the Ligne de Causses. I asked the guard if the train stopped anywhere that I could get a coffee. He shook his head, surprised at the question. It was less primitive in 1884!

Souls Journey Resource List

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Mar 142019
 

MAIN SOURCE BOOKS

The Soul’s Journey by Hazrat Inayat Khan. This is a fascinating and lucid exploration of the topic, by one of the leading Sufi teachers of the early 20th Century. He believes that each soul has a life which extends far before and after a human incarnation, and he offers many valuable pointers on how a soul in a body can make the most of this experience. He challenges the idea of reincarnation, but believes that souls coming into human life are guided and influenced by departing souls.

Testimony of Light by Helen Greaves. Is there an afterlife beyond this human one? What is it like? If we knew more about the afterlife, could that guide our human life here and now? This book offers some of the most convincing answers to these questions that I have found.

There are two voices in this book: the writer is Helen Greaves, but she is transcribing the voice of her dead friend, Frances Banks. Both were Anglican nuns, colleagues and friends: the book is written in the mid-1960s. Soon after Frances’ death, Helen started to receive a series of messages from her, describing her experiences in the afterlife. For a two page blog on this book see: http://www.living-organically.com/book-blog-testimony-of-light-by-helen-greaves/

Desert Wisdom by Neil Douglas Klotz. This book is a treasure house of key texts from the Middle Eastern spiritual traditions, restored to their full depth by Neil’s beautiful retranslations from the original languages. The book also includes commentaries, body prayers and meditations. It includes a variety of texts relevant to this topic, for example, some of Jesus’ teachings, and parts of Genesis.

OTHER RELEVANT BOOKS:

Healing into Life and Death by Stephen Levine. Stephen has done pioneering work with Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, Ram Dass and others with hospices and other projects connected with death and dying. Whilst this book is not about the soul’s journey, it offers excellent insights and resources for anyone with a life-threatening illness, and those who support them. It includes some excellent guided meditations.

Die Wise by Stephen Jenkinson. With lyrical prose, deep wisdom, and stories from his two decades of working with dying people and their families, Stephen Jenkinson places death at the centre of the page and asks us to behold it in all its painful beauty. Die Wise teaches the skills of dying, skills that have to be learned in the course of living deeply and well. Dying well, Jenkinson writes, is a right and responsibility of everyone. It is not a lifestyle option. It is a moral, political, and spiritual obligation each person owes their ancestors and their heirs: how we die, how we care for dying people, and how we carry our dead.

The Warmth of the Heart Prevents your Body from Rusting by Marie de Hennezel. A compassionate exploration by a French doctor of the perils and pleasures of aging. Very helpful about the positive opportunities of late old age and infirmity, and how to complete one’s life narrative. For a blog on this book, see www.living-organically.com

The Art of Dying by Peter Fenwick and Elizabeth Fenwick. This book was recommended to me by a hospice nurse. It is a guide to the dying process, with a focus on what happens to our consciousness during and beyond death, drawing on both structured research and personal accounts of both dying and near death experiences. They conclude “all the experiences we have been told of point to death being part of a structured and supportive process.” Peter is a leading neuro physiatrist, and his wife has written several books on health and family issues.

Tibetan Book of Living and Dying by Sogyal Rinpoche. Written by one of the most warm and engaging Tibetan Buddhist teachers, this is a relatively approachable way into the deep and complex Tibetan teachings about conscious dying, the life beyond, and how this can enrich life now.

All in the end is Harvest edited by Agnes Whitaker. This is a lovely anthology of writings, poems and prayers to support those in bereavement and other grieving situations.

USEFUL WEBSITES

Dying Into Love: This website offers some powerful wisdom from teachers with a lots of experience in this area, such as Rumi, Ram Dass and Joan Halifax. See www.dyingintolove.com

Dying Matters: A UK website raising awareness of dying, death and bereavement. It encourages people to talk about dying, and offers useful practical advice, contacts for support and links to other useful organisations. See www.dyingmatters.org

Conscious Ageing Trust: this offers compassionate conversations about death and dying via a growing network of Live Groups, a web-site with a members-only forum, and open access areas for resources and essential information about death and dying. Set up by Max Mackay-James. See www.consciousageing.org Stephen Levine: useful material on his website, www.orphanwisdom.com and some excellent videos of talks by Stephen and Ondrea Levine are on www.levinetalks.com.

Note: this is the resource list developed for the Souls’ Journey workshop in 2015.

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